Stuff I Read Last Year

I had the great fortune to have lots of time to read books in 2016. So, in the tradition of other eminent authorities like The New York Times, Amazon, and MAD Magazine, I thought it was incumbent upon me to publish my “Best of 2016”. Also, I felt like writing another blog post and I couldn’t think of anything else to say.

Way back last January I read Before The Fall, which I thought was very well written, somewhat intriguing, and very apropos in regard to the contemporary media environment. I gave it CCCC. (Aren’t those icons pathetic? I’m still using Windows 2007.)

There are few things I love more than comic novels; heating pads, maybe, or a big sloppy kiss from my dog. I read a couple of good ones (comic novels) this year: Everybody’s Fool (CCCC¹/₂C) and Kitchens of the Great Midwest (CCCC¹/₂C). Kitchens is a send-up of food snobbery; the chapter about bars is a classic. Fool is a sort-of sequel to Nobody’s Fool, both by Richard Russo, one of my favorite writers. Both Fools are a hoot, and I recommend these books highly if you’re seeking a chuckle or two.

(Random interjection: my two favorite comic novels are It Won’t Always Be This Great, and The Financial Lives of the Poets {don’t be put off by the title, it’s awesome}. I find few joys in life as fulfilling as funny books).

I read lots of crime/mystery/suspense novels last year. The best one was The Trespasser, by Tana French, a wonderful writer; I gave it CCCC. I also liked Michael Connelly’s latest, whatever it’s called; I read all of his books. Laura Lippman’s latest was also good. My new favorite writer in this genre is Michael Robotham, and his book about the guy who escapes prison the day before his sentence was up was excellent. I gave these an aggregate of CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC; I’ll let you figure out how to allocate them.

Still in the crime category, I read a noir book from around 1950 called Hell Hath No Fury that I really liked. You get 10 points if you can define “noir” adequately without cheating. I gave it CCCC¹/₃C. I started to read a Raymond Chandler but it was too clichéd for this cynic.

Last, and probably least, I liked Harlan Coben’s new book. Harlan Coben is like Fig Newtons: tasty, familiar, and you can’t stop until you’ve eaten the whole sleeve; CCCC.

I read lots of other thrillers, but they were mostly forgettable. Maybe they were wholly forgettable, since I can't remember them. I did not read any Lee Child/Jack Reacher books; they ruined it when they agreed to cast Tom Cruise as Reacher in the movies. Ugh.

Sort of still in that crime category was a delightfully twisted little book called You Will Know Me about a gymnastics team. A treat for young and old alike, I gave it CCCC¹/₂C.

If you like dysfunctional families, and who doesn’t, The Nest was good fun (CCCC). Also in the dysfunctional family vein, The Sport of Kings was quite a remarkable book. It reminded me of a trip to a great art gallery, or perhaps watching a foreign movie without translations: I felt like I was missing a lot of the best stuff, but it was an exhilarating ride anyway. I'll give it CCCC¹/₂C

Highly acclaimed works I started but discarded included The Homecoming, The Nix, and LaRose. I actually liked LaRose, I’m not sure why I quit reading it. Maybe The Caps were playing or something. I’ll probably take it up again.

A couple of books I read back-to-back that turned out to be companion pieces about women were My Name is Lucy Barton by Elizabeth Strout, and This is Your Life Harriet (Somebody) by Jonathan Evison. I love Elizabeth Strout’s books, and I like Evison a lot, too. CCCC¹/₂C and CCC¹/₂C, respectively.  And, both authors have previous books that are even better, read them all!

About the same time I was reading Homecoming I read Barkskins, which was fun since both were about immigrants to The New World around the 18^th century. I finished Barkskins, mostly just to be able to say I finished it. (No rating.) Not sure why I bother to mention it here.

I listened to The Vegetarian on tape. If You Will Know Me was twisted, The Vegetarian was twisted-on-steroids. I know it was profound, but I have no idea why; I gave it no rating, and I only mention it here because it won The Man Booker Prize, and I’m quite the book snob.

The Thicket was gory and sadistic, but also cute and charming. I liked it; CCC¹/₂C. Reminded me of another underrated book that I liked: The Sisters Brothers. If you liked the movie Hell or High Water, you might like these books.

Dodgers was pretty good. It’s his first book, and he’s from Northern Virginia, so you should read it. CCC¹/₂C. Allison liked it too, and since we sort of refuse to like the same books, that’s a rare endorsement.

Last week I actually read a non-fiction book, Thank You For Being Late. It’s supposed to an optimist’s look at the future, but I thought it was terrifying. Of course, I think getting out of bed is terrifying. (Isn’t it?) Anyway, it’s good book, I gave it CCCC¹/₂C.

OK, so here’s the grand finale. The two best books I read last year I actually read in the last two weeks, which of course was not last year. However, they were both ingenious, beautifully written, funny, wise, entertaining, and in many ways astonishing; two of the best novels I have ever read. Both by very accomplished authors, and in my mind, their greatest works. Both about brilliant, iconoclastic men; and again, in a sense, companion works. And so, the winners are, for best books of 2016…

Moonglow, by Michael Chabon

A Doubters Almanac, by Ethan Canin

They won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but I loved them. And after all, this is all about me. Though I hope I gave you some ideas of things you might like. Feel free to contact me if you would like more recommendations or details. Happy reading!

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Thanksgiving

Being as it is the day before Thanksgiving, I had a sudden inspiration to make a list of the things for which I am thankful. So here goes…

First, I am thankful that I am done with chemotherapy. Whew, what a f#$%*&^ nightmare! If I could have ever foreseen this at an early age, I would have eaten nothing but raw vegetables, never touched anything plastic, avoided ever feeling any stress, and drunk every green smoothie ever concocted. I really can’t put into words how glad I am that it chemo is over. We should probably give chemo to every five year old so they will know what they will have to deal with if they eat Trix and Twinkies.

Next, I’m grateful for cable TV. How else could I have watched sports and sports re-runs for 16 hours a day while recovering? In the old days it would have been “Days of Our Lives”, “As the World Turns”, and “Captain Kangaroo”. By the way, I loved Captain Kangaroo, almost as much as Popeye - especially the episodes with Alice the Goon.

I am most thankful for my wife, Allison. Allison is the most capable and grounded person I have ever met: I don’t think anyone could be facing my illness and taking care of me as well as she is, with humor, patience, and her remarkably sound judgment. I am so lucky, and so grateful, that she is my wife.

I am thankful that I discovered wool socks. I don’t know why it took me 50+ years, but the discovery has changed my life. I have learned that being warm is the meaning of life, and it starts with the feet. As Michael Dukakis said, “A fish rots from the head down”, which has nothing to do with this, but is nonetheless one of my favorite quotes. Along with “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds” (Emerson), and “You don’t know nuthin’!” (Deliverance).

I am also very grateful for my dog, Dusty. He is an adorable little critter, and a great companion on my walks in the woods. Alex says he is the most expressive creature he has ever met. I would be even more grateful if he would stop playfully biting anyone who is not part of our family, as well as us, too, on occasion. Which reminds me that I am thankful that no one has sued us yet, and that I no longer want to put him to sleep. And I am grateful for strong leashes and invisible fences.

I am thankful for sushi, Indian food, and chili. When I was going through chemotherapy these were only foods that would cut through the metallic taste. I don’t know what they were doing to my stomach… literally, because I was taking Oxycontin to dull any stomach pain, and so I couldn’t feel my stomach at all. It still shows up on the x-rays, though, so I guess I didn’t do it too much damage.

I am so grateful that I have nice children. My oldest son visits his grandparents unprompted, and has been known to send thank you gifts to people. My middle son straightens the house, gets the mail and garbage, and greets me with a hug every day after school. My daughter may be the epitome of the self-absorbed teenager, but she still is warm, generous, and sweet. There is a profound absence at our house of the acrimony that pervades many households. Nice children are a wonderful gift.

I am grateful for Frank Beamer. He brought me over 20 years of entertainment, excitement and pride. I sincerely hope he can make the transition and be as successful in his next chapter as he has been in the last one.

I am grateful for fleece. Makes me wonder how people coped when there was just cotton and wool. Like Civil War soldiers, for example… were their sleeping bags all wool? Think how that must have smelled after a thirty-mile march in July. I am grateful I was not a Civil War soldier, or a serf, or a eunuch, or a slave in Egypt, or a caveperson, or a millipede.

I am thankful for phones that have cameras. What a great thing it is to actually have a camera with you on all of those occasions when you discover “this would be a great picture”. I am also thankful for GPS, the Weather app, Scrabble, Facebook, and Pandora. I am also thankful we didn’t have any of these when I was a child.

I am grateful that people read my blog and send me great messages back through all of the different media choices. Lying around complaining is pretty dull, even when there is a re-run soccer game on Fox Sports, and every message I’ve received has been meaningful and important to me. So thank you all for caring!

I am very thankful that I have arrogant doctors. My doctors think they are omnipotent, indomitable, invincible; and I am so grateful to have them. They think they can’t lose, and thanks to them, so do I.

Some people I am thankful for: Lee Corso, David Brooks, Kate Alexander, Roger Angell!, Jim Jeffries, Eliot Musk, Fred Rogers (RIP), Joe Biden, Mark Richt, Lawrence Lessig, Angela Merkel, Bryce Harper, David O. Russell, John Prine, Clayton Kershaw, Bill Gates, Jimmy Carter, Jess Walter. I’m sure I’ll think of more later.

I’m grateful for Ativan. Great drug.

I’m very grateful that I live near a nice tract of woods. It never occurred to me when we bought this house that living two miles from the woods and the river would ever be so important to me. Every walk in the woods has brought me solace and optimism. I think it is part of our nature to be connected to the woodlands.

I am thankful for laser surgery and corrective lenses. Wow, would I have been screwed without them. I do wonder why we haven’t come up with equivalent technologies for hair.

I am grateful for some obvious but often unappreciated technologies: dentistry, central heating, light bulbs, microwave ovens, air beds, laser printers, electric toothbrushes, and power drills. I don’t think I really knew what it means to be a man until I discovered the power drill.

I am thankful I got to play a lot of golf the past 20 years. I think. Maybe not. But I am looking forward to playing again when I get well.

I am also thankful that I got to play football, basketball, soccer, and tennis. Some well and some not so well. And to ski and ride bikes. And I’m grateful that I still dream about playing them all again, some that I will and some that I won’t. But I’m thankful that I have experienced so many joys from playing sports.

I am also grateful that my children play sports and that I get to watch them. And I’m thankful that I grew up and stopped behaving like a crazy sports parent. I do wish that I’d learned earlier, and that my oldest son would start speaking to me again.

I’m grateful that I have Caps tickets tonight! Thank you, Chris and Kathryn Adams!!

That’s about all I can think of right now, and as usual my creativity has dissipated into the ether after a short burst. So I’ll close by saying that I am most grateful that my life is full of wonderful people. Yes, this means you, you who are reading this. Thank you for being the person you are, and being part of my life. And best wishes for a joy-filled Thanksgiving and holiday season.

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